Thursday, March 1, 2007


It is AMAZING to me how God can use certain metaphors (i.e. the HUMAN relationship between parent & child ) to teach us something about OUR relationship with HIM. This is a BRILLIANT way for God to teach those of us who are parents something!! But, that should not shock me, because God is SO FAR beyond BRILLIANT, that my tiny finite mind will NEVER have the mental capabilities to even begin to understand how HIS perfect & infinite mind works. Of course, I have an example for you, so here goes...

God has shown me that I need to "connect the dots" on things He has already shown me and apply them to my life. He showed me this literally MINUTES AGO!! Or, better yet, He has probably been trying to show me this for a long time (YEARS) and tonight...literally MINUTES AGO...what He has been trying to tell me in so many different ways, I finally saw the big, pink, blinking sign, reading, "HELLO!!! PAIGE!!!! It's ME, GOD!!! I HAVE SOMETHING TO TEACH YOU, SO READ THIS GIANT BLINKING SIGN....APPLY WHAT I HAVE TAUGHT YOU!!!"
But, instead of "looking UP," I have been looking at MYSELF in the mirror saying, "That's the way to tell her, Paige! Your advice makes TOTAL SENSE!!" Then, (in my mind) I saw myself accepting the award for "MOTHER WHO GIVES THE BEST ADVICE" ....

"Thank-you, Thank-you! I accept this award with great pride! Please, please, no more all are embarrassing me!! Well, not really....I don't get embarrassed that easily, so feel free to just keep clapping as I bask in the glory of receiving this awesome award!! After all, I did give my daughter some great advice, didn't I? I will be glad to stand here as long as you all want to applaud me & I will be available to sign autographs later!!"
The applause gets louder... people are now standing up, clapping & whistling, as I stand on the stage, smiling and waving at my adoring fans!!

Then, SUDDENLY....
THE LIGHTS GO OUT!! THE ROARING CHEERS OF THE PEOPLE FALL SILENT!! MY AWARD EVAPORATES!! ..... and then.... the lights come back on & it's just me & God...
I fall to my knees and start crying!! God has something to tell me.....well, teach me, if you will. I cry because I don't feel worthy of HIS MAGNIFICENT PRESENCE & HIM taking time to teach little ole me something.... (GOD ALWAYS HAS TIME FOR HIS CHILDREN......YOU, ME, EVERY HUMAN HE CREATED!!) God is AWESOME!! He is the BEST parent you or I will EVER HAVE .... no HUMAN parent could ever compare .... And here HE IS!! Coming to help ME understand some of HIS infinite wisdom, which I should have understood a long time ago!!

As I wrote in a previous post, I do not "take any crap" off of ANY human beings...Now, I have NEVER been in a fist fight and I always had a ton of friends growing up. Like most kids end up facing one day, I had "bullies" at school "test me" when I was a kid. But, they only had to test me ONCE to realize that I was NOT an easy target who would take their crap. So, dealing with bullies was never an issue with me growing up, because the few times I was "tested" I STOOD UP TO THEM. I was not a mean person, by far....actually, I got along with pretty much everybody and I honestly cannot think of one person in my past who I just could not get along with. I was the class poet and I was even voted "Most School Spirit" all 4 years of highschool. I am not saying that to brag, I just wanted to make it clear that I was "TOUGH" when I needed to be, but overall, I got along with pretty much everybody throughout my school days and I told you about me being voted the class poet, and voted "Most School Spirit" as a way of saying, I feel pretty sure that most everybody liked me, too. forward to today....I am now 38 years old, very happily married to my precious husband, Bo, for 13 years and we have been blessed with a precious daughter, Hannah. She is 9 years old and though she & I are alike in alot of ways, there are several ways that we are VERY DIFFERENT. One of those "differences" in us is the issue of "dealing with bullies."

At home, Hannah is extremely talkative, very funny, she has a great imagination and it just blows mine & Bo's minds how deep & mature she is at her age. Also, she can be a real smart alleck (which, Bo & I are both that way, so to some degree, she definitely comes by it honestly.) But, sometimes, like most all kids ~ testing the boundaries ~ she can have a real attitude and be "tough acting" and disrespectful to us. So, I KNOW that my kid is not a wimp!! Here's the school, she is extremely quiet, very obedient, and WILL NOT stand up to the few bullies she has already encountered. Example: At the beginning of this school year (she is in 4th grade) one of the class bullies sat behind Hannah and would KICK Hannah's desk all day & just say mean things to her. How did Hannah react to these things???? SHE DID NOTHING!!!

Fortunately, we have open communication in our family, so she tells us pretty much everything. So, when she came home telling us about this kid kicking the back of her desk all day & just saying mean things to Hannah, we said, "So, what did you say to this kid?" Hannah replied, "Well....nothing." ........... NOTHING?? NOTHING AT ALL?? I absolutely CANNOT relate to "taking this crap" off of someone and saying NOTHING to this bully. Bo & I have had MANY talks with her about this and we have even role-played with her on "how to deal with a bully." Hannah, when this girl starts kicking your desk, turn around, look her square in the eyes and say with a FIRM voice, "Quit kicking my chair!!" Once you stand up to this girl & let her know that it is NOT okay for her to kick your chair, she will stop. You have to STAND UP to bullies. Then of course, Bo & I had to each tell her about how we handled bullies when we were kids.

Bo's story: He is in the first grade at the bus stop and a boy a few years older basically beat him up!! Bo ran home, crying. When he got home, his dad told him that YOU CANNOT RUN AWAY FROM BULLIES, YOU HAVE TO STAND UP TO THEM, USUALLY JUST ONCE, AND THEY WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE. Then, he made Bo go BACK to the bus stop & stand up to this kid. What happened?? The boy hit Bo AGAIN, but this time, Bo fought back and DID NOT RUN AWAY. Now, Bo "lost" the fight, but guess what??? That kid never bothered Bo again, because he now knew that Bo would not back down. Problem solved. PERIOD.

My story: I start a new school and I was in 7th grade. I was "the new kid." So, one day, the class bully wrote a note & handed it to me and it said, "Susie told me that you called me a worm (or whatever.) Is that true?" I wrote on the note, "No, that is not true, I didn't call you anything." and handed her the note back. She wrote back, "Well, I have known Susie longer and I believe HER, so I want to fight you." I wrote back, "Well, I'm telling you, I DID NOT call you anything, but if you've made your mind up that you want to fight me, just tell me where and what time and I'LL BE THERE!!!" She instantly wrote back and said, " you didn't really call me anything, then we don't need to's cool..." PROBLEM SOLVED. PERIOD. She never messed with me again. Why? BECAUSE I STOOD UP TO HER!!!

Now, didn't Bo & I give good advice to END this bullying problem? YEAH, WE DID!! Did she do what we told her?? NO SHE DIDN'T!! She continues to let bullies treat her anyway and SHE WILL NOT STAND UP & FIGHT!! And I don't mean "fist fight"......I mean just get in this girl's face and say in a firm, "I mean business" kinda tone, "Stop kicking my desk!!!!" ....... She won't do it....we, HER VERY WISE PARENTS, have TOLD HER how to solve this problem.......and she JUST WON'T DO IT.....

I do not have words for the frustration I feel about some brat picking on MY LITTLE GIRL....MY SWEET PRECIOUS HANNAH.....MY HEART!!!! It feels like I am throwing her a lifeline and SHE JUST WON'T PICK IT UP!!!

Guess what, folks??? GOD HAS TOLD ME IN HIS WORD HOW TO FIGHT IN SPIRITUAL WARFARE.......HE HAS LAID IT OUT IN FRONT OF ME IN HIS HOLY BIBLE....HE IS THROWING ME A LIFELINE.....AND GUESS WHAT??? I JUST WON'T PICK IT UP!! i JUST WON'T STAND UP & FIGHT!! I just lay down and let Satan beat the crap out of me, spiritually. I believe his LIES...."Paige, you are are a failure in life.....everybody would be better off without you.....and on & on & on..."

How frustrating it must be for MY PRECIOUS FATHER IN HEAVEN, WHO LOVES ME SO MUCH THAT HE DIED FOR MY SINS, to watch me just fall down into a fetal position and let the devil beat the crap out of me, when HE HAS TOLD ME HOW TO DEAL WITH SATAN'S ATTACKS....

WOW........I am not taking MY HEAVENLY FATHER'S WORDS OF WISDOM, just like HANNAH IS NOT TAKING OURS.... Isn't that AWESOME how God has shown me all of this??

You know what? When Satan comes around wanting to "pick on me" I need to put on THE ARMOR OF GOD, tap in to the power of the HOLY SPIRIT, WHO LIVES IN MY HEART and I need to boldly say to Satan.....BRING IT ON!! I AM READY TO STAND UP AND FIGHT!!!

Jesus, thank YOU.....for everything. I LOVE YOU, LORD!! Amen.

Forever Seeking Him ~

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Hear My Words

Well, here I am....awake again after midnight. What woke me up? Another migraine! (I need a NEW BRAIN....not just because of my migraines....but for ALOT of reasons!! LOL!!)

I am going to tell you several things that I ALREADY KNOW, but God has shown me that I need to "connect the dots" on these things and apply them to my life. He showed me this literally MINUTES AGO!! Or, better yet, He has probably been trying to show me this for a long time (YEARS) and tonight...literally MINUTES AGO...what He has been trying to tell me in so many different ways, I finally saw the big, pink, blinking sign, reading, "HELLO!!! PAIGE!!!! It's ME, GOD!!! I HAVE SOMETHING TO TEACH YOU, SO READ THIS GIANT BLINKING SIGN....HEAR MY WORDS AND APPLY THEM TO YOUR LIFE!!!"

Before I tell you what God pointed out to me, I need to lay a little groundwork...(people who know me are rolling their eyes right now, sighing & saying, "PAIGE, JUST GET TO THE POINT!!" (LOL!!) I hope you keep reading...

First of all, I am a Christian. And I would stand on the top of the tallest building and yell, "I AM A CHRISTIAN AND I THANK GOD FOR SENDING HIS SON, JESUS, TO PAY FOR MY SINS!!" If someone shot me down and I fell to my death, so be it....I WOULD BE IN HEAVEN WITH JESUS IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE, BECAUSE I HAVE ACCEPTED HIM AS MY LORD & SAVIOR. PERIOD.

In so many ways, I am still such a "babe in Christ." There is SO MUCH I have to learn about JESUS and living out my Christianity. More importantly, I need to DO what He has ALREADY TAUGHT ME....You know...."WALK THE WALK" not just "TALK THE TALK" and I have NO IDEA how God is SO PATIENT with me! I feel like I let Him down EVERYDAY. As Jesus, Himself said:

"Stay alert and pray! Otherwise, temptation will overpower you! For, THE SPIRIT IS WILLING, BUT THE FLESH IS WEAK!" (Matthew 26:41)

Oh, how willing my spirit is to "walk the walk!!" Yet, my flesh is SO WEAK, I just "talk the talk!" I am not using this passage of Scripture as justification to just "talk the talk" but not "walk the walk." MY PROBLEM is, that I DON'T DO what Jesus said to DO in this passage:

"STAY ALERT AND PRAY!!!!" ..... My prayer life is NOT where it needs to be. Now, I TALK to God all of the time.... I think my problem is that I don't LISTEN to God like I should!! And, when I do LISTEN, I don't always OBEY!!

Another thing about me, is that I am a HUGE BELIEVER in SPIRITUAL WARFARE!!

Ephesians 6:12 says: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

I also like the way that passage is worded in another one of my Bibles (THE LIVING BIBLE)

Ephesians 6:12 ~ "For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against persons without bodies - the evil rulers of the unseen world, those mighty satanic beings and great evil princes of darkness who rule this world; and against huge numbers of wicked spirits in the spirit world."

Pretty scary stuff, if you ask me!! We cannot even see our enemy!! So, we have to "SUIT UP!" (A line that Barney constantly says in the new sitcom, "How I met Your Mother." That show is hilarious!!) Anyway, we have to "suit up" in the Armor Of God DAILY as we fight this battle...What is "The Armor of God?" hmmmm.....glad you asked!! Hang on, let me find that passage in The Bible.....I'm glad to do it....I should already know it by heart...after all, it says in The Bible:

PSALM 119:11 ~ "I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You."

Hmmm...this is an interesting way that my other Bible ~ THE LIVING BIBLE ~ words that:

PSALM 119:11 ~ "I have thought much about Your Words, and stored them in my heart, so that they would hold me back from sin."

I have never heard it put that way, but the meaning is the same..."I need to meditate on God's Word DAILY & memorize God's Word, so that I will KNOW where God stands on ANY ISSUE and I can pray that God's Holy Spirit keeps me from disobeying God." (my interpretation)

Okay, for those of you who want to know, here is the passage about putting on THE ARMOR OF GOD:

Ephesians 6:13-17 ~ Therefore put on the FULL ARMOR OF GOD, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground. Stand firm then, with THE BELT OF TRUTH buckled around your waist, with THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS in place, and your feet with FITTED SHOES that are able to speed you on as you spread the Gospel of Peace. In addition to all this, take up THE SHIELD OF FAITH, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take THE HELMET OF SALVATION and THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT, which is the Word of God.

Why do I not do this DAILY? I mean, really...WHY? What is wrong with me??? God has told me how to fight back in spiritual warfare...but I DON'T DO IT!!

I had a friend, Tammy, ask me an EXCELLENT question recently. She is also a Christian, by the way. Anyway, this question has NOT LEFT MY MIND and when I told my husband, my mother, my daddy, my best friend in Alabama, Lorie and my best friend in Georgia, Pamela, about Tammy asking me this very insightful question, they ALL said the same thing...

Tammy & I were talking one day (about my battle with depression) and she said, "Paige, you are the type of person who does not take any crap from people, right?" And I VERY PROUDLY SAID, "You've got that right!! I don't take crap off of anybody!! I am not afraid of confrontation at all & if someone tries to start something with me, I'll get right in their face and say, 'BRING IT!!' I don't "start things," but if somebody starts something with me, I WILL NOT BACK DOWN!!"

Then she asked, "Then WHY do you take crap off the devil? It's like, when it comes to human beings, you won't take stuff off of them. But, when Satan starts attacking you, YOU JUST LAY DOWN & TAKE IT!! It's like you instantly fall down in the fetal position & you just let him beat the tar out of you & take whatever crap he dishes out to you and YOU DON'T FIGHT BACK!! You will believe his lies, mainly the lie he tells you so frequently... that YOU, PAIGE are worthless. You make it SO EASY for Satan to just lead you down the road of depression, anger or whatever!! Why don't you FIGHT BACK when you are being attacked spiritually and tap in to the POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT & call on The Lord to fight these battles for you? God is SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL than Satan, but YOU HAVE GOT TO CALL ON HIM!!"

WOW...........these things that Tammy asked me FORCED me to ask myself these questions.....She was right. God is SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL than Satan and when I am being attacked spiritually, I need to put on the ARMOR OF GOD, stand firmly on God's TRUTHS and QUIT BELIEVING THE ENEMY!!

This is ALOT to ponder...

Stay tuned for my next is like part 2 of this post....I hope you tune in!!

I hope we all seek HIM daily ~

The Secret Things Belong To The Lord

It is almost 3:00 a.m here, and a migraine headache has woken me up.

I came in here to my computer & started surfing about God, Spiritual Issues, and depression. (Yes, I have been battling depression for many, many years on & off ~ but, I know I am not alone.) Anyway, in the process, I came across a very interesting blog. I sat here & read all of the things she had written & I was just blown away at her writings...her honesty, her insight, her questions, her search for God & desire to grow in her relationship with Him. She seems to be my kind of person!! She is very insightful and full of a ton of awesome questions that I believe so many of us have.

I feel like I have so much to say....(No surprise for those who know me!! LOL!!)

I was "saved" (baptized & all) when I was 7 years old. My parents fell away from church for various reasons, so I was not "raised in church," but, I always considered myself a Christian. I just never grew in my relationship with Him after I accepted Jesus as my Lord & Savior. I wasted SO MUCH TIME, living a backslidden life (through highschool & college.) After I got married, in 1993, I "rededicated" my life to Jesus and my faith started growing like crazy!!!

But, THEN....The Oklahoma City Bombing happened. I just sat in front of the T.V. for HOURS watching the footage of the horror!! I specifically remember a fireman carrying a limp, lifeless baby (I think the baby girl's name was Bailey??) Anyway, I just sat & cried and continually asked God, "How could You allow this to happen?"

My growing "faith" came to a SCREECHING HAULT. I quit going to church and turned away from God, because I just COULD NOT understand WHY He did not stop this tragedy from happening and allow so many innocent people to go through such pain...There was just no way that I could possibly understand...especially, the innocent babies & children who died that horrific day...

My relationship with God was like this for YEARS...I would really start growing in my relationship with Him, then a tragedy like the OCB or Columbine or 9/11 would happen & I would pull away from God, because I could not begin to understand all of the "WHY's?" The typical things that people say, i.e., "Well, God had a REASON he allowed this to happen" etc...brought me ZERO COMFORT. (Even though these things were not happening DIRECTLY to ME!!) I still remember when the OCB happened, seeing sobbing parents on T.V. saying, "All I can say is that GOD and my faith are the ONLY THINGS helping me through this tragedy." (and, though I personally felt ANGER towards God & I turned away from Him, I must admit, I WANTED THAT KIND OF UNSHAKABLE FAITH, that these weeping, hurting people had!! I CRAVED that kind of
unshakable faith, but had no idea how to get it...

Months would pass by after one of my bouts of "pulling away" from God & I JUST PLAIN MISSED HIM!! So, I would start seeking Him again. This roller coaster ride of my relationship with God went on for YEARS...

Then, one day, I read a passage from The Bible that I knew "I JUST HAD TO ACCEPT."

Deuteronomy 29:29 ~ "THE SECRET THINGS BELONG TO THE LORD OUR GOD, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law."


The commentary in my Bible about this passage basically says that God has revealed so much to us, but He has not revealed EVERYTHING. Possibly because there is NO WAY our finite minds could comprehend the infinite mind of God...

I made a decision that day. I just accepted that there is SO MUCH about this world that I will NEVER have the answers to, this side of Heaven...PERIOD.

This "acceptance" has helped me SO MUCH!! Like I said, I have so much I would like to say (as if I haven't already said enough LOL!!) but, I at least wanted to share with you MY biggest obstacle in my relationship with God for YEARS.

I still have SO MUCH to learn about God and I KNOW that I let Him down DAILY. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR HIS MERCY, HIS GRACE, & HIS PATIENCE!!! This life is a struggle and Jesus said, "When we have trials & tribulations in this world...." He didn't say, "IF" we have trials & tribulations.......He said, "WHEN."

Romans 3:23 says, "ALL have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God." ..............not, "SOME" but "ALL." And that is why God is so AWESOME and has truly shown His Love for us by sending HIS SON, JESUS, to pay the ultimate price for OUR SINS, which we could have NEVER afforded to pay!!


Thanks for taking time to read this!! God Bless You!!

May We ALL Seek Him Daily ~